Forgiveness

            I am learning more everyday that one of the most important things in life and especially in being a Mother is forgiveness.  I'm not perfect and I’m never going to be in this life.  I have to be okay with that.

I have to forgive myself for having a bad moment when I yelled at my kids.

I have to forgive myself for having a bad hour when I put on another movie for my kids and went back to bed…or when I locked them out of my room so I could take a bath in peace.

I have to forgive myself for having a bad day when we didn’t leave the house, or even get dressed, or accomplish anything at all.

I have to forgive myself for having a bad week when my bad day turned into seven in a row.

Instead I have to focus on my good moment when I didn’t yell at my son, but calmly asked him for the umpteenth time to put his shoes away or brush his teeth.

I have to focus on my good hour when I began teaching my daughter to read.

I have to focus on my good day when I got all of us dressed, the house clean, errands ran, went to the gym, and played with my kids—I ignore the fact that we weren’t wearing matching clothes, the laundry is still in the washer, I forgot the main thing I went to the store for, my husband made dinner-Again!  And playing with the kids and making dinner messed up the house I spent hours cleaning…that’s just life!

I have to forget and forgive myself practically every moment of every day because I’m just a mom.  But I’m a mom that gets out of bed everyday—even if it’s at 9 or 10 am sometimes.  I’m a mom that adores her children even when they ignore me.  I’m a mom that teaches her children they can and should be better than their mother.  I’m a mom that tries and tried and tries again because that’s how much I fail, but I will NEVER give up—that’s just NOT what mom’s do.

I forgive myself all day until late at night when everyone else is sound asleep I beg my Heavenly Father to forgive me and ‘Please, PLEASE help me to be a better mother.  Help me to stop yelling—I can’t do it on my own.  Help me prioritize and do the essential first.  Please help my children know I love them especially when I’m not showing it as I should.  And Father, please help my children not remember all my bad, but remember the good.  But if they must remember some of my bad, please, PLEASE help them to forgive me too!